Thursday, May 19, 2005

Why is it that I'm always late for work when I dream?

In today's case I can see where Portuguese-looking house comes from, which is kind of obvious, but the story about the boy and a nurse... I really hope this time I'm not having premonition about someone I know virtually and who's actually trying... Mmmm, no, some things are better unsaid and even more - unwritten.

And now for the dream itself:

Weird place with many people I don’t know, but I can sense who they are. There is an old building with windows and staircase facing the entrance, irregular Portuguese-like sidewalk with a few stairs by the entrance door downstairs. To reach the place/building one has to catch a train from town.
The building itself is yellowish, with hardwood floors and white stone detail (window frames, stairs etc.) again all looking very Portuguese.
The building is empty, there’s no furniture but there is one machine which makes a lot of noise, it very slowly copies pages of written text, it is slow and big and while copying it stretches out enormous panes of black cloth almost like a tent on a desert.
The machine is on the first floor by the window. The ground floor is a little bit beneath the ground level, people have to take 2-3 stairs down while entering, and the ground floor entrance hall is bluish and dark-shiny like it was covered with Portuguese blue-painted tiles.
When I'm downstairs I see people entering, first a tall handsome man, he's familiar, but I don’t know who he is exactly, he greets me but I say my boyfriend will not like to see him kissing me, and we laugh. In comes the boyfriend, looks cool in weird brown attire – really cool thing brown cape and hat hard to describe…

Later I’m back on the first floor and through the window I see a young boy trips on uneven sidewalk by the entrance and fall, he hits the ground and lays motionless. I run down the stairs with another female figure, I know she used to be a nurse so I let her do most things to bring the boy back. He wakes up, breathes, he’s ok…
Back to the first floor again, the former nurse wants to do something about the curtains, climbs on the window slips and falls out! I see her fall in foetal position, head down. I run down the stairs again and see her on the white sidewalk, skull crashed open and a lake of dark red blood growing around. I don’t even come closer, I go up again to face the boy she helped to save moments before and just shake my head, like they do in the movies to say “nothing can be done”.
Fast forward, someone called and ambulance and the crew did what they had to do – they tried to resuscitate her, I was there first but assumed she was dead and there was nothing I could do. She died anyway, but should I have done more? For her and/or for my conscience? One way or another I don’t feel guilty, I know she was dead right after she hit the ground, I just know…