Tainted goods
Taking solemn vows of marriage is an act of hope. Hope that love and friendship shared by two people will last long and with time turn stronger, till they truly become one. Because we do not seek out other half ready made to suit who we are, but we embark on a journey together as two different people in hope that we will, one day, be one.
We hope that in years to come, when we are no longer young, pretty, slim or healthy,that man we chose to share our life with will still be there as our lover, our friend, our ... other half. It shows later in life if we are successful - my parents after 43 years of marriage can hardly exist anymore as separate entities. That's why widow and widower have such tragic if not sinister ring, that's why in so many cases when one person of such couple dies, the other follows shortly.
The biggest leap of hope is the first marriage. Everything that happens after that is soemhow tainted by failure, experience, cynicism, you name it.
We give ourselves away completely and unconditionally only once and if we fail or the chosen one fails us - it will never be the same again.
That's the greatest change of modern times - we choose our partners for love and only make vows if we have hope, but the adjusting process is still the same, now parting from romantic love while in centuries past it parted from imposed family choice.
Probably that's why our expectations are greater. Being married to a decent pater familias or to a good wife and mother is no longer enough. Are our expectations too high? Are our efforts too little? Whichever is true the divorce rate is close to 50% in societies where being divorced is no longer a social stigma.
Or is it a stigma, but the hidden PC code doesn't allow anyone to say it? A divorcee is a looser, one way or another. Either they chose poorly, expected too much, were not up to some standard, didn't work hard enough or all of the above. Even a sacrified faithful mother of three abandoned by her whoring husband is guilty of poor judgment at least.
Every divorced person is second-hand merchandise, used goods, tainted, imperfect - generally not a proper candidate for giant leaps of hope. Even if nobody dares to say this aloud. With all its modernity the liberal society still regards the failure to choose and keep a mate as one of the life's greatest shames.
Hi, my name is Karyatis, I'm divorced, I'm not perfect, but hell I'm good!
We hope that in years to come, when we are no longer young, pretty, slim or healthy,that man we chose to share our life with will still be there as our lover, our friend, our ... other half. It shows later in life if we are successful - my parents after 43 years of marriage can hardly exist anymore as separate entities. That's why widow and widower have such tragic if not sinister ring, that's why in so many cases when one person of such couple dies, the other follows shortly.
The biggest leap of hope is the first marriage. Everything that happens after that is soemhow tainted by failure, experience, cynicism, you name it.
We give ourselves away completely and unconditionally only once and if we fail or the chosen one fails us - it will never be the same again.
That's the greatest change of modern times - we choose our partners for love and only make vows if we have hope, but the adjusting process is still the same, now parting from romantic love while in centuries past it parted from imposed family choice.
Probably that's why our expectations are greater. Being married to a decent pater familias or to a good wife and mother is no longer enough. Are our expectations too high? Are our efforts too little? Whichever is true the divorce rate is close to 50% in societies where being divorced is no longer a social stigma.
Or is it a stigma, but the hidden PC code doesn't allow anyone to say it? A divorcee is a looser, one way or another. Either they chose poorly, expected too much, were not up to some standard, didn't work hard enough or all of the above. Even a sacrified faithful mother of three abandoned by her whoring husband is guilty of poor judgment at least.
Every divorced person is second-hand merchandise, used goods, tainted, imperfect - generally not a proper candidate for giant leaps of hope. Even if nobody dares to say this aloud. With all its modernity the liberal society still regards the failure to choose and keep a mate as one of the life's greatest shames.
Hi, my name is Karyatis, I'm divorced, I'm not perfect, but hell I'm good!
posted by Karyatis at 3:24 pm
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